So my love life is so non existent I may as well give up now and join a cult (a convent wouldn’t be for me as I don’t believe in god), but I am getting far too old for this habitual singleness now that something needs to change.
I use the following excuses for why I am single:
1) I don’t like going out into town on a night which limits how many lesbians I can meet.
2) I work in an office full of men and heterosexual women.
3) Even if I did go out the gay scene here is appalling, I dread to think what I would end up bringing home.
4) The fit women on the internet dating sites won’t talk to me, only the heffers.
It would seem that I need to make several adjustments to my life before I end up with anymore cats.
Firstly, I need to attempt to go out to York’s tiny gay scene and avoid all the women I have had some kind of embarrassing encounter with.
Perhaps I need to lower my standards and stop being so superficial, I am not saying that I won’t be seen with anything less than a supermodel but I think I should probably get to know people before I judge them (if Louis is reading this he will fall off his chair).
Also the online dating thing is just shit, fat, ugly birds looking for a shag, there are plenty of them outside thank you.
I think every woman in a 30 mile radius who reads this should come on a date with me, any blokes with fit sisters or girlfriends, also send them my way.